Calling

Jim Goodmann

Regional Director, Calling Congregations

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July 21, 2007

Something So Audacious

Something So AudaciousBy Ann Bonner-StewartThe Outer CallBy Meta HerrickLuther Seminary - St. Paul MN

If you can imagine yourself doing anything else, you shouldn't pursue parish ministry." I recall hearing this more than once when I was considering parish ministry, and it gave me serious and long pause. After all, I could see myself serving quite well without being ordained. I eventually concluded that this type of thinking unnecessarily elevates ordained ministry over lay ministry. If I'm going to take the ministry of the baptized seriously, there is no reason for me to put my own perceived call on a pedestal. The call to ordained ministry is not separate from our call as baptized Christians. God calls lay and ordained Christians alike to serve in different capacities throughout our lives.That being said, my own call as I currently understand it is to be a parish minister. One of the things I enjoy about working in a parish – what attracted me to it in the first place – is the diversity of the job. When I began parish work I wanted an associate rector position that would allow me the opportunity to gain experience leading in all areas of parish life. Time and time again parishes asked that I focus my attention on youth ministry, but eventually I was called to a parish in which I was allowed to share in every area of parish life.No two weeks are the same. Some days ministry feels like a desk job, as I sit in my office and take care of one necessary detail after another. I study for sermons, prepare for worship, administer church programs, and provide pastoral care. Some days, however, my office becomes the hospital, the nursing home, the home of a parishioner, the coffee shop, my car, or the altar.Of course, no profession is perfect. My mentors told me that parish ministry would not always be glorious. The people who told me that I should do something else if I could imagine it were indirectly pointing to a truth that I've discovered: ministry is hard. Some days are boring. Parish work can often feel inefficient and ineffective. For me, though, the thing I struggle with the most is what it means to be a symbol-bearer of the divine. As a parish minister I am called to something that seems so audacious: to speak about whom God is and how God works in human lives. I consider this to be an integral piece to any church's mission, but speaking about God can be the easiest, most covert way to take the Lord's name in vain. Sometimes I feel so presumptuous.And yet I find that preaching is something I truly love. This is not exactly something I saw coming. I really did not like going to church as a teenager, and I particularly did not like listening to sermons, finding most of them didactic and paternalistic. As I began to preach, which I did with great reluctance, my own sermons considered and acknowledged my doubts and fears about God in Christ and about us. I didn't pretend that I had life all figured out. Somewhere along the line, I began to realize that some people found these open and honest journeys through the text helpful. They had an opportunity through my questions to reconsider, to broaden, and to deepen their lives with God in Christ. That still amazes me.For this reason, I believe that the work of the parish is absolutely necessary. The Christian tradition is incredibly rich. My own tradition particularly, but certainly not exclusively, offers ways of meaning-making that ask people to engage their hearts and minds, to pray that God's will be done and then to roll up their sleeves and work to help make that happen. We all long for these chances to know and be known, to love and to be loved, in our heart of hearts.I can't tell you that I'll be in parish ministry for the entirety of my career. If I've learned anything, it's that the Spirit sure can throw a great curveball. My prayer for myself, as it is for anyone – whether she be a parishioner, a parish minister, or someone considering parish ministry – is that we will be brave and courageous enough to continue to follow Christ with all of our hearts.Ann Bonner-Stewart was a 2003 FTE Congregational Fellow. For more information on the FTE Congregational Fellowship, visit the Support for Seminary Students page on the FTE web site. Back to Top

The Outer CallBy Meta HerrickLuther Seminary - St. Paul MNI was baptized as an infant. My parents and godparents gathered around the font and, together with that congregation, confessed their faith and made promises for my future. Those wildly optimistic and naive promises were made on behalf of the whole Christian church - including other congregations I would join and other people who would teach and love me in the years to come. They vowed to bring me to God's house, to place in my hands the scriptures and teach me the Ten Commandments and the Lord's Prayer. These promises were bigger than my little body or my understanding of God's grace and power, but through the work of the Holy Spirit their faith gave birth to my faith.I am thankful to the countless communities and people who have served me with an "outer call". Teachers and pastors took time and care to address my questions from a young age. Mentors and family members seemed interested in my vocational journey and dreams for the future. Even when I was deaf to the sound of the Holy Spirit's guidance, their wisdom and encouragement was clear.Serving as an acolyte showed me the meaning and importance of light and children during worship. Wearing an alb, sitting up front and meeting with other worship leaders gave me a new perspective. I would follow the pastor around the altar collecting wine cups after communion, watching the faces of distinguished and admired adults. I remember the hungry desperation in their eyes and the way they held out their hands in search of something more than a nice house, good job and handsome kids. Their faith blurred into my faith, teaching me lessons I still can't explain. I learned to believe in the power of the Lord's Supper through their unknowing witness. They made time for my questions about liturgy and faith. They thanked me for helping with worship and called me a blessing from God. Each small comment of appreciation and encouragement named me as a member of Christ's body and called my attention to God's vocational plan for my life.While I was always fascinated by worship and the church, I never wanted to be a pastor. I studied religion in college but refused to admit that God had plans for me in the parish. And then I met Pastor Chris, a young pastor and mentor who came to serve my home congregation while I was away at college. He provided internship opportunities for me in the church and wandered with me on my vocational journey. While everyone else wanted to know what I was going to do when I graduated, he asked about who I was meant to be.Pastor Chris taught me that every pastor struggles to balance her personal and professional personas. He taught me that people need spiritual leaders who are willing to be authentic. Chris was patient and persistent as we waded through my questions and hesitations, always assuring me that God was looking for leaders just like me. I was relieved to know that I didn't have to be perfect or have all the right spiritual answers to be a pastor. These conversations and experiences in congregational ministry helped me sense the ways God was calling me to ministry through others. The outer call nurtured my inner call and soon I learned to trust God's plan for my life and ministry.Faith in God's call is far from easy. On occasion I've found it to be rather intolerable. Sometimes I wanted to leave my faith in the dust. My baptism often felt inactive or absent, and I wondered if it would be easier to face the world's uncertainties and suffering without God. I tried, but the Holy Spirit is sneakier than your average teenage girl - both patient and persistent. He knows that we will tire before he is done calling and gathering and sending.While my stubbornness seemed to drown out the sound of my own inner call, it could not silence the outer call. I had been infused with Christ through Bible stories, liturgy, potlucks and that nasty little habit of prayer. I have been surrounded by a community of people invested in my faith and future. My baptism was determined to follow me wherever I went. And I was surprised by the comfort and hope that realization gave me.Now, when I watch a baptism and stand to make promises on behalf of that person, I remember that I am promising to help raise my whole Christian family. After all, it has taken an entire Christian village to raise me! I smile when I show young acolytes how to tie the cincture around their waists - the same slipknot someone once showed me. Whenever I serve communion, I look into the faces of my Christian brothers and sisters before making them a priceless promise: This is the body of Christ, given for you. I watch people hold out their hands in need of God's presence and loving forgiveness. Then I ask the Spirit, "Who needs to be blessed and encouraged as I was? Who needs an outer call?"And the Spirit replies softly, "Who doesn't?"To read more of Meta's thoughts on life, ministry and the Gospel, visit her blog at "Mountain View."Meta Herrick was a 2004 FTE Congregational Fellow. For more information on the FTE Congregational Fellowship, visit the Support for Seminary Students page on the FTE web site. Back to Top